To all my party people

Why? Why must you all party all the time?

Was talking to my sisters today, one of them is flying in from my country on thursday and I asked them what the plans were. Their reply “Party and bullshit” How eloquent. How thought through. Now that is what I like to call a plan! No, sight seeing, maybe come see you, dinner… No. Just “Party and bullshit”. When I say, I’d rather not, I get called a grandma and told that I never do anything they want. Well I guess that’s where the bullshit part of that statement comes from. I always go out, even when I really don’t feel like it because I am the designated wing-woman. The ugly guy catcher. The distraction. The other girl. So much fun. And really who wouldn’t want to go out and be that girl. The one that doesn’t drink, and has to explain to every drunk person why not because “Why not???”. Funnily enough most people upon telling them the reason I do not drink anymore reply “Man that is awesome, I wish I could stop drinking… TEQUILA SHOT!”

Ok so why has this weekend got my panties in a bunch. Well maybe because I just don’t feel like it right now. I don’t feel like standing around at a bar waiting for guys to come up to us and ask us “what’s your name?” or even worse “hi” barf. Fuck off. Go away. Leave me alone. You suck. Try this when you’re sober. You need a breath mint. All plausible answers that go through my head when being approached. But as a good wing woman I answer politely whilst looking over at my sister to see if she approves of the specimen that is trying to get our attention with some lame remark.

And I get it, she doesn’t want to settle down yet and she lost 5 years of her life attached to a douche who dumped her out of no where. A time in which she hardly went out and pretty much stayed in the vicinity of her comfort zone. But what about me??? What about me during her settled years, it’s not like she was always at my side when I wanted a bit of man time. And besides even back then she would flirt her ass off with everything that had that special little thing attached to the front of their groin. So awkward (and back then fat) little me would usually end up standing in a corner looking awkward.

You know what. Fuck this shit. I am not going.

Yeah I’ll probably end up going…. crap. I have no spine.

And the song that this eloquent little saying from the beginning comes from:


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