Eager to learn

Watching people reading glossy magazines got me thinking.

I’m not the kind of girl who buys those magazines, unless it’s for a short flight and I know there aren’t any movies available, but when I do I read them like my life depends on it. Like everything that is in them is pure gold and I need to eat the words off the page and absorb them into my skin and keep them there. I now have a tab book marked on my computer for nerve, an online magazine that is not really comparable to any offline magazine. It’s a cynical type magazine about everything you could think of, from romances to fashion and some gossip and other things. It’s really interesting, but just like the glossy magazines it’s about relatable things, things that you can track back to your own life and feel connected. I feel like we only read things that we can relate to and that makes complete sense. I mean why would I want to read something when there is non of me in it. It may sound selfish but I guess that’s the way we are being brought up at the moment. What is best for me, how can I get farther in life, me me me….

I sometimes wish I was as interested in those magazines I used to get as a kid with all the different plants and animals in it. They were magazines I would eat up like the ones today, but only I would learn something from them. I wish I could be one of those people that can sit down with a “National Geographic” and read it cover to cover. And actually read it, not flip through it looking at the pictures and see if there was anything in it that I found fun or terrifying, something that spoke to me on some level.

I feel ashamed when I go into a magazine store and feel myself eyeing the people magazines and really wanting to buy one. So I force myself to go to the tech section and check out what’s coming out, because that’s the only other thing in the magazine store that really interests me. I don’t wanna be one of those chicks. Who cares when which kardashian is popping out another baby??? Who cares who else is getting a divorce, liposuction, boob job or going to rehab. I do. Dammit. I love reading about all the crazy things people with fame and money do. And I always think to myself, if I was that rich and famous I would be the most awesome rich and famous person an everyone would love me because I was so awesome and giving and kind. Aaah. Day dreams ahoy!

So anyway, what I really wanted to say was I wish I was still as eager to learn about good, non-selfish things as I was when I was younger. But I remember getting bored super quick with those learning mags.

No balls

In a world where everything is going from offline to online, where we don’t have personal conversations anymore but rather tweet everything that is on our mind we feel like we’re closer to each other than ever. I don’t think that this is the case. I feel like if anything this movement from offline personal fce to face conversations to online anonymous conversations has given us the feeling that we are allowed to say anything, anywhere and at any time.
Maybe i’m a bit of a hypocrite, since i too am hiding behind an alias spewing words (sometimes hateful) onto a blank webpage. (Oh my god, i just noticed that webpage has been recognized as an actual word by my spell checker, when did that happen? How old am i?!?) But still, i think that there was an advantage of face to face conversations, not that i’m not enjoying these online rants, i just think that having realtime (and that does not include skype or whatsapp) conversations are much more important.

I can give a personal example: i often whatsapp my boyfriend my problems and i always feel like, yes i may be getting all the words out correctly and everything seems to be making sense, but a lot of the actual message is lost in hyper space as he doesn’t know in what tone i’m saying them, i can’t touch his arm to comfort him and look him in the eye and tell him i don’t mean it in a bad way. All those text messages come across quite monotonously and bluntly as all the information is cast out in one big dump. It’s not really a real conversation as much as tiny monologues where you keep trying to up the other person.

The other thing that annoys me is that people love leaving these cryptic messages like “i wanna know how you feel about me..” Who?!? What?!? Why?!? This annoys the crap out of me. I may not be one for confrontation but seriously grow some balls and ask the person in question. It’s attention seeking little bitch behavior that should be punished by in this case a rude one liner.

The come up of social networks = loss of balls.